I am the limit of me

So it was a long week for me – and I have blogged individually on the IBM internal blog sphere on the 3 days of the course I was on, so if you are an IBMer take a look here (sorry folks an internal IBM link)

This blog is about how I feel and I suppose it goes to how I view myself & why.

I never realised how senior a position I had in IBM, well let me be clear – I knew, intellectually that I had a senior position, however I was very unaware of how others in Australia & New Zealand viewed me and that I have managed, somehow, to get to & pass my own expectations of myself, good news I suppose.

Well that’s not totally true either I have very high standards for myself, and the level of self criticism in my head can at time vary from the dull noise to a very loud roar, however because of those standards I actually have fairly low expectations & that dear reader is where the confusion in me lies, the dissonance that I generate between where I think I am from the inside & where I actually am on the outside.

Now I can see it I can work on it,

Now I can see it I can understand where it comes from

Now I can see it I can see how this limits the person I can be

Thanks for reading

The power of words

It’s been a while – maybe because my work & life have become extra busy, maybe it’s because I cannot find the inspiration, however that will end, dear reader, I promise.

This post I am writing because of, and as a tribute to my daughter, who at nearly 16 has become, in the eyes of her (biased) father a source of both wonderment & joy in how she is maturing as a person.

So to the story . . . .

Madi's latest

Madi likes to get her hair coloured, and the latest variation was done last Friday. I support her in this as I feel this is part of the exploration that we do as we all mature, however it seems that there are some folks at her school who consider this as a means by which they can tease her and put her down. Words can be very hurtful.

Madi dealt with this as she also dealt with the shaving her head for worlds greatest shave by wearing “Canteen” bandanna.

Some of the same people who teased her on Monday asked her on Tuesday why she was covering up her hair as it was “mad” (which I presume means it looks great). Words can also be confusing.

On the way to school Madi asked me “Do you think music can be empowering ?”, I asked what she means by that question to which she added, “I am listening to music on my iPod at the moment that says to me that everyone can be treated bad, and that you will get through it.”

My response, “yes I think music can be very empowering.”

Words can be good.

Madi does gets stirred up by what others say to her about herself. She has said to me that she could respond the same way in which some others treat her, however she also believes that she does want to be the one responsable for others feeling bad about themselves. The implication on her feelings is obvious.

Words can be powerful.

Thanks for reading

Decision making

Decisions, we are making them almost every minute of every day, some are important, some seem not so important.

What makes a good decision ?

In my experience, a good decision is one that

• You made, rather than allowed for events to just take their natural course;
• You considered everything you could given the time constraints ;
• You focused on the result you were seeking;
• You commit to making work; and
• You never look back on and say “I wish that  . . .”

To these last 2 points needs some expansion. In my opinion the only “bad” decisions are ones, once made, you fail to pursue at anything less than 100%. Backing off, letting things just happen rather than going for what you want only leads to diminution of the desired results.

With decisions, regret is the yang to commitment’s yin.

That does not mean that you shouldn’t reflect and build the consequences and outcomes into your experience bank. If I put a salt into my coffee and experience the incredibly bad taste (IMO) I should be smart enough to not do it a second time.

Time can seem to be the enemy of decisions,

If I wait just a little more time, . . . “

Unfortunately a decision can only be made with the information you have at the time. Not deciding, whilst a legitimate course of (in)action can, at times, reduce your options to the point where only one possible outcome is left.

Time is also the friend of decision making

To quote my father (who turns 73 soon);-

“The decision to join the RAAF was the best decision I ever made. Apart from the opportunities the RAAF provided me I also met this lovely young woman in the Women’s RAAF ( The WRAAF as it then was ) , . . .who after a difficult romance became Nanna — but not immediately.”

You can only know, retrospectively, the consequences of a decision that you make, there is no 100% fool proof way of predicting an outcome, and you would indeed be a fool if you thought that everything you did was going to turn out perfect

So to finish up, I sometimes get asked to talk to folks about changes in their career, there is only one bit of advice I give.

“In the end only you can decide what will and will not make you happy, there are no bad decisions if you commit to the decisions you make.”

Thanks for reading