Fatherhood – ep4 – the ride so far

It is with great pride that I share with you, dear reader,  that my daughter is now 16 – her birthday was a couple of days ago, and in these circumstances, I find myself reflecting on all that has gone on from day 1.

Parenthood, for me did not come & is not easy or natural, it takes a lot of effort on my behalf to remain the calm, whist life is swirling around you. I have attempted to provide a base or anchor point for her life – and I believe that being parent is as much about learning when to take a step backwards & let you son or daughter free to figure things out for themselves, as it is helping them find their own identity & hopefully find a rewarding (for them) place in this world.

A couple of weeks ago, I suggested to Madi that she is doing OK. In response she started telling me everything that was wrong with her life – some serious, some not so. This is the real issue I find with parenting – being supportive whilst being somewhat realistic – my daughter has a real good BS meter.

There is a scene out of the film “Parenthood” where the “Grandma” charter gives Steve Martin’s character a bit of advice – full quote here on IMDB 

“You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.”

It been an exhilarating ride so far, I look forward to the next few years as well.

Thanks for reading.

The power of words

It’s been a while – maybe because my work & life have become extra busy, maybe it’s because I cannot find the inspiration, however that will end, dear reader, I promise.

This post I am writing because of, and as a tribute to my daughter, who at nearly 16 has become, in the eyes of her (biased) father a source of both wonderment & joy in how she is maturing as a person.

So to the story . . . .

Madi's latest

Madi likes to get her hair coloured, and the latest variation was done last Friday. I support her in this as I feel this is part of the exploration that we do as we all mature, however it seems that there are some folks at her school who consider this as a means by which they can tease her and put her down. Words can be very hurtful.

Madi dealt with this as she also dealt with the shaving her head for worlds greatest shave by wearing “Canteen” bandanna.

Some of the same people who teased her on Monday asked her on Tuesday why she was covering up her hair as it was “mad” (which I presume means it looks great). Words can also be confusing.

On the way to school Madi asked me “Do you think music can be empowering ?”, I asked what she means by that question to which she added, “I am listening to music on my iPod at the moment that says to me that everyone can be treated bad, and that you will get through it.”

My response, “yes I think music can be very empowering.”

Words can be good.

Madi does gets stirred up by what others say to her about herself. She has said to me that she could respond the same way in which some others treat her, however she also believes that she does want to be the one responsable for others feeling bad about themselves. The implication on her feelings is obvious.

Words can be powerful.

Thanks for reading